Saturday, April 3, 2021

On the Transgender Journey

There is a thread on the crossdreamer/transgender journey over at Crossdream Life that may be of help too many people who struggle with their gender identity. 

Gender variant people go through a process of self-discovery when interacting with others. Their understanding of themselves changes as they get new words to describe themselves, and as they start exploring the hidden side of their psyche.

Thrilledwfrills writes this about the journey:

"1. We experience existential conflict with physiology or social role associated with assigned gender. We feel a more satisfying sense of identity with some or all parameters of the other gender, We naturally seek expression of our individual gender variation in the context of our daily life.
2. In a non-supportive environment, we suffer from the suppression of our transgender nature with psychological pain [confusion, depression, dysphoria, and other distress]. We continue to seek expression via crossdreaming, crossdressing, seeking community, individual therapy, etc.

3. We work to increase our understanding of ourselves, and validate the legitimacy of our experience.
4. We seek integration of our transgender nature into daily life, conditioned by perceived risks and benefits.

5. We attempt to achieve a stable personal equilibrium by:

a. Affirming our own nature to ourselves privately- in thoughts, feelings, and self talk 
b. Finding workable outlets of expression in our own circumstances, which may or may not be visible to others
c. Participating in sustaining a supportive community, sharing feelings and transgender expression with others
d. Achieving a satisfying level of gender transition on a personal level and in society, which encompasses many choices from simply ignoring restrictive gender norms through transitioning gender with HRT,SRS, and legal transition"

Thrilledwfrills also presents a list of gender components which are separate, but often interacting. Any and all could be the points of conflict which launch us on the Transgender Journey

Thrilledwfrills  continues:

"Every child is classified at birth into one of two genders, and then continuously taught, nudged, prodded, and constrained to fit as closely as possible the expectations for that gender in their social network. Multiple times a day everyone has to make contextual calculations to optimize their sense of safety and well being, to fit in, to meet expectations, etc. Everyone has the challenge of expressing themselves authentically within the flexibility perceived in gender performance standards.

We classify ourselves as 'transgender' when we have substantial conflict with the norms and want to cross over the norm boundaries so that we can express ourselves within the parameters allowed for the other gender. We are a minority, and will feel minority stress as a result. We will not be readily accepted when expressing  our sense of our gender, because it is different from what is expected. We will make the Transgender Journey. Those around us will apply 'corrective' enforcement- counseling, shaming, threats of ostracism, hostile workplace actions, etc. to bring us back in to conformance. We will keep seeking improved acceptance and opportunity to participate in the activities of daily life, behaving and appearing in ways that feel genuine to us."

You can read the whole thread here: A Transgender Typology and Unification Theory

A safe place for discussing gender variance!

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